I originally wrote this on Facebook.
Amelia was born on August 3, 2012 at 11:33am at Kaiser Oakland. She was premature at 27 weeks. We were scared that she wouldn’t be alive, but she came out red, wriggly, and squawking — a perfect little person but just very, very tiny at 2 lbs 1 oz.
Despite her serious condition, she fought to stay with us. The NICU staff commented on how she was “feisty”. She was breathing on her own, even with her immature lungs. She was moving, grabbing fingers, kicking, crying a bit, and even opened her eyes to look at us. We were hopeful. However, on Saturday night, we were rushed to the NICU. Amelia had developed bleeding in her lungs, and the staff were trying to stabilize her. They did, and her heart rate, respiratory rate and oxygen saturation numbers were looking good. But the trauma was too much for her, and she began to worsen. She passed at 3:30am on August 5, with Gabrielle holding her, while we kissed her, touched her and said goodbye.
In the two days she was alive, she let us experience parenthood. We held her, changed her diaper, fed her, and talked to her. She gave us hope, she broke our hearts; we feared for her fragility and proudly beamed at her strength. And we loved her as all moms and dads love their children.
We miss our daughter Amelia dearly.
We are so appreciative and overwhelmed by the support of our family and friends. Right now we are trying to cope, and while we appreciate the outpouring of condolences and offers of help, we need time to ourselves.
Those that know me know that I’m pretty private, but Facebook is an efficient way of getting word out. It’s been difficult to tell people what has happened as it is, so I’d rather do it en masse and avoid having awkward conversations about our pregnancy later on, over and over.
No comments are necessary. Do not “like” this, do not “share” this. I can only read or hear “…so sorry for your loss” so many times before it starts to sound hollow, even if it is truly meant. I apologize for being so brusque, but you know what? I get to.
If you feel you need to do something:
1) Give your children an extra hug tonight.
2) Give blood. Amelia needed many transfusions after her pulmonary hemorrhage.
3) If you are breastfeeding, and have extra to give, consider donating your milk.
Thank you for thinking of us.